last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
