Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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