; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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