Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize