Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
