We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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