Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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