yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
