The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
