Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
