Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
