and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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