and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
third nipple confirmed
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
