Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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