bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
