i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
