His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
