I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
