How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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