All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
