careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
