I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
