Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize