i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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