there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize