Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
