Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize