So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
