His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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