I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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