this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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