You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
