I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
