margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
