where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The best revenge is premature balding
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
