i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
