it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
