i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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