Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
