and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
