when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Vodka?
Forever.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
