he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
