I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
