marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Boobs are out for the taking
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
