i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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