dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
