Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
im on a boat
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