We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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