I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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