how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
