u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
