What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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