so explain again why im purple
no
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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