I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
