google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize
