arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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