Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I understand Curling. That high.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
