Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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