I feel great
I just peed on a car
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm too high and old for this...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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